I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
