you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
