Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
