i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
