i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize