Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
