I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
