You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
