no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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