Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
