They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
