Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
