Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
