Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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