If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
