Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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