OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
