Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
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