If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so let's talk penis.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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