Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
