But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
