Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
