No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
