I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
