He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
