he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
