I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
