How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
