is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
