fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
