how can u be prego again
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
This house was built for laser tag.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
