New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize