the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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