at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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