Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
