You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
