Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
