The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
