Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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