Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize