I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So many bounce houses so little time
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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