Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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