Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
