it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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