I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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