we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i think i scared a bird with my dick
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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