ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
