Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
