just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
There are leaves in my underwear?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
