im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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