How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I can't put those talents on a resume
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
