I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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