Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
