last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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