I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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