how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
