That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
porn star boner night. come get it.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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