and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
im six kinds of drunk right now
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
