Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize