i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
