Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
