Plan B is the new Plan A
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
